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  Praise for

  CTRL + B: The Girls Write Now 2019 Anthology

  “This anthology is a window into the future. The bold, insistent voices of these young women stay with you long after you’ve left the page and one day their words are sure to shape the future of writing.”

  — CAMILLE ACKER, author of Training School for Negro Girls

  “To lead the world to justice and hope, we must empower a generation of young women to speak with authority and write their truth. Girls Write Now is making that happen—one girl at a time.”

  — LAURIE HALSE ANDERSON, author of SHOUT

  “For more than twenty years, Girls Write Now has enabled young women to become the narrators of their own lives—and to translate experience into story into power. It’s a mighty transformation—and the voices in this collection remind us to listen up.”

  — JENNIFER BAUMGARDNER, publisher, Dottir Press

  “I was both touched and inspired by the bold voices of the young women in this anthology, which we need now more than ever. The breadth and depth of the stories are as astounding as they are empowering. Each piece is an unforgettable account of what it means to be bold and in control.”

  — NICOLE DENNIS-BENN, author of Patsy

  “Writing saved my life—and I’m so excited to support Girls Write Now in giving the tools of language and storytelling to underserved young women.”

  — EVA HAGBERG FISHER, author of How to Be Loved

  “If a word after a word after a word is power, so is a girl after a girl after a girl with pen in hand. This anthology inspires and embodies hope; Girls Write Now shows us hope has teeth.”

  — SALLY FRANSON, author of A Lady’s Guide to Selling Out

  “How thrilling to hear the voices of young women in the process of becoming, to be invited to listen as they begin to articulate their singular vision—mining their inner experiences and rendering them in lucid and startlingly honest prose, and taking seriously their own lives as worthy subject matter as they reshape the world with their writing. Girls Write Now is a profound and necessary project and I look forward to the future bodies of work it will embolden these writers to create.”

  — ANNA GODBERSEN, New York Times–bestselling author of The Luxe

  “Young women will never forget this moment we are living through. How could they? So I’m grateful to do my small part in helping as many as possible connect to the urgency of their stories. They will transform us, these women, and I, for one, cannot wait for it.”

  — MIRA JACOB, author of Good Talk: A Memoir in Conversations

  “Chronicling our experiences is the first step to ownership of them. These young women are bravely and fiercely staking out the territory of their own lives with language to give shape, voice, and name to what it is to be female—and human—right now.”

  — NICOLA KRAUS, co-author of The Nanny Diaries

  “When I name myself, I become myself. In these pages, girls name themselves, their worlds, their wishes, their pain, and their heart’s finest joys. Right here, girls become their true selves.”

  — MIN JIN LEE, author of Free Food for Millionaires and Pachinko

  “Without mentors like my mother, my aunt, and others, my relationship with the written word would not have crystallized or grown into what it is today. I owe everything to my childhood mentors for introducing me to writing and the arts as both rehabilitation, and a way to seize and exist in my power. Girls Write Now champions writing and mentorship as a path to individual and collective power, and for that I am in awe of their work and mission.”

  — WAYÉTU MOORE, author of She Would Be King

  “What a treat Girls Write Now has been to me as a reader. It connects generations that are usually divided, and it encourages and showcases truth-telling. Barriers are overcome, courage is celebrated, gifts of language bud and bloom. I love the idea that these girls will become our future great writers and leaders.”

  — ALICIA OSTRIKER, New York State Poet Laureate

  “The stories we tell ourselves can limit us, or blow worlds wide open. Girls Write Now gives young women the power to tell their stories powerfully, and in doing so, helps them lay claim to their lives.”

  — JOANNE RAMOS, author of The Farm

  “Now more than ever, the voices of girls need to be heard. Girls Write Now showcases the vision and talent of young women changing and being changed by our world. Reading their stories will fill you with inspiration, pleasure, and hope.”

  — HELEN KLEIN ROSS, author of The Latecomers

  “Girls Write Now has become one of the most important organizations for teenage girls in America and a most powerful bridge between what can be imagined to what will be created, and flourish, out of imagination.”

  — AMBER TAMBLYN, author of Any Man and Era of Ignition

  “It is an astonishing, life-changing thing to come into the knowledge, as a girl, that your mind matters and that your voice is valuable. Girls Write Now is an irreplaceable organization, capturing this alchemy in every piece and every relationship it facilitates and creates.”

  —JIA TOLENTINO, author of Trick Mirror

  “Girls Write Now provides a space for girls to be seen, heard, and validated. This collection is an extension of that space. Here, we are called in to listen to what young women have to say, to take in their truths, to bear witness. These powerful, poignant pieces are a reminder of how sacred the written word is, of how necessary it is for women to reclaim space, to speak.”

  — RENÉE WATSON, author of Piecing Me Together

  “A testament to the transformative power of storytelling, the Girls Write Now anthology is a shining example of what happens when women and girls join forces to amplify their voices and own their truth.”

  —JAMIA WILSON, author of Young, Gifted and Black, and executive director of the Feminist Press

  THE GIRLS WRITE NOW

  2019 ANTHOLOGY

  THE GIRLS WRITE NOW 2019 ANTHOLOGY

  FOREWORD BY

  Phoebe Robinson

  INTRODUCTION BY

  Tomi Adeyemi

  Copyright © 2019 by Girls Write Now, Inc.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, digital scanning, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. Any requests for using, reproducing, storing, or transmitting by any means of this work should be directed to Girls Write Now, 247 West 37th Street, Suite 1000, New York, NY 10018, Attn: Copyright Request.

  Published 2019

  Printed in the United States

  Print ISBN: 978-0-9962772-3-5

  E-ISBN: 9781936932801

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2019932756

  Cover design by Kaitlin Kall

  Ebook produced by

  The Feminist Press at the City University of New York

  365 Fifth Avenue, Suite 5406

  New York, NY 10016

  feministpress.org

  For information, write to:

  Girls Write Now, Inc.

  247 West 37th Street, Suite 1000

  New York, NY 10018

  [email protected]

  girlswritenow.org

  Foreword

  PHOEBE ROBINSON

  Photo Credit: Mindy Tucker

  As a woman and a person of color, I check two of the boxes in terms of categories of writers who tend to be marginalized, underestimated, and forgotten. That’s why an organization like Girls Write Now (which is twenty years old but doesn’t look a day over seventeen, honey) is integral.
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br />   Yes, it helps provide mentorship to girls and girls of color who cherish and reap the rewards of having guidance to develop as writers and creators. But, more important, to be encouraged and shown that their voices matter, that they deserve to take up space, and that instead of just waiting for a seat at the table, they can build their own dang table and chair with a cute AF centerpiece is priceless and life-changing. Girls Write Now is everything.

  — PHOEBE ROBINSON

  As a kid, one of my first stories that got rave reviews (lol, that just means a couple of gold stars) was something that, if I wrote it today, my English teacher would’ve already dialed the “9” and the “1” and left her forefinger hovering over the “1” in case things got extra–To Catch a Predator, but this was the ’90s. Moving on.

  In the story, my family is royalty and my brother got captured by a witch. As I attempted to save him, the witch kidnapped me and we had to be saved by my gym teacher—#Lol Forever, and then I married him. Don’t judge me for having a crush on my gym teacher and writing him into the narrative! We’re all on different journeys. The point is that this story is an example of me writing my truth and not concerning myself with what’s expected of me.

  Then cut to white expectations getting me off track. In high school, college, and beyond, I, like all of us, was encouraged to emulate the greatest hits, which conveniently consisted only of white dudes: Shakespeare, Whitman, Hemingway, Wilde, etc. But I’m a black girl from Cleveland, Ohio, who watches Moesha… All right, fine. I also listen to U2, but still, if you hadn’t guessed by now, my writing has never been confused for Faulkner or any of his homies. “Doesn’t matter who you are,” everyone (teachers, librarians, etc.) said, “these men are capital ‘L,’ LITERATURE, and if you want to be literary and respected or simply be good, then you will write like them.” So I tried. Attempting to write like “the standard” was like trying on a bra that’s too big for my 34A-cup self. Sure, the bra is the shape of a boob, but I am not filling it out. There are air pockets and dents all over the place, so I put the bra back. If only it were that easy with writing.

  I was so concerned with getting respect and chasing the dream of being literary. So I kept trying to sound like those writers for years, and as a result, my work was… shit. I was frustrated and confused, and then I asked myself: Whose respect did I want? Who decides what’s literary? What is this standard and why the hell is it good? This is not to say that the men I listed above weren’t immensely talented. They were. They’re great, but they aren’t everything. You know what’s everything? You, me, them, all of us using our voices to create a lush, wonderful, unpredictable symphony of language. And in my midtwenties, I got tired of playing the trombone when I knew that I’m the drums. So then I asked myself: What if instead of having traditional white male voices be my North Star, how about I am my own North Star? What would happen if I tried to sound like me?

  This query cracked open the world. Forget respect and acceptance into the literary world. I realized I just want to be seen and heard. And isn’t that what writing is about? So when I look at the stories in Ctrl + B: The Girls Write Now 2019 Anthology that you’re about to read, it’s easy to see that each and every one of these writers asked themselves these questions and more, and guess what? The answers are damn good. Enjoy!

  PHOEBE ROBINSON is a Girls Write Now honoree, the cocreator and costar of HBO’s 2 Dope Queens, and the author of the New York Times–bestselling book You Can’t Touch My Hair: And Other Things I Still Have to Explain and Everything’s Trash, But It’s Okay.

  Introduction

  TOMI ADEYEMI

  Photo Credit: Ronke Champion-Adeyemi

  I’m honored to be recognized by an organization that’s doing so much to empower society’s young queens. The day I discovered my voice was the day I truly discovered myself and the power I could wield, so I’m absolutely thrilled that Girls Write Now helps the writers of today and the leaders of tomorrow find their voices and their power every single day.

  –TOMI ADEYEMI

  I don’t have any children, but I think about how I want to raise my future daughter every single day. Part of this is because I’m neurotic and I want to be prepared, but the other part is because to be born into this world as a girl is to be born into a war. It’s a war between you and society that tries to break you down and convince you that you aren’t enough, that your voice doesn’t matter, and that you don’t deserve every bit of this world and then some.

  If I could say one thing to every magnificent queen in this anthology and every queen reading it now, it is don’t waste another second of your lives believing those lies. We may enter this earth at war, but that war turns us into warriors. Because despite the endless barrage from society telling us otherwise, one day we learn the truth, and that truth is:

  You matter.

  Your voice matters.

  Your words matter.

  The moment you realize that and believe it in the deepest depths of your soul is the very moment you become unstoppable. Because as the genius comic Hannah Gadsby says, “There is nothing stronger than a broken woman who’s rebuilt herself.”

  And let’s face it: You are already saving the world.

  • Mari Copeny, aka Little Miss Flint, is single-handedly solving the Flint Water Crisis.

  • Mere days after the Parkland shooting, one of the most traumatizing experiences possible, Emma González began leading a movement for national gun reform.

  • Marley Dias wanted more black-girl books and started a movement to diversify children’s publishing.

  • Naomi Wadler is educating the world about the gun violence and domestic abuse black women face every day.

  • Malala Yousafzai stood up to the freakin’ Taliban and started an international movement.

  You are beyond warriors.

  You are the Dora Milaje (#WakandaForever) and I pity anyone stupid enough to get in your way.

  So do not let anyone, or anything, make you feel like you can’t do everything you want in this world, because you’re already doing it every single day. And for the writers reading this, you play a special part in saving the world, because stories have always brought humanity together and words have always moved people throughout history.

  The whole reason I’m able to write this is because words I thought no one would ever hear or listen to are now being read by thousands of people all over this planet. Words are changing hearts and minds one person at a time, and one person at a time is all we need to build a better world.

  There’s so much darkness surrounding us right now, but this book is full of wisdom and light, and its brilliant writers fill me with hope for the future. So don’t believe the lies and keep fighting.

  Our world needs you, and it needs your words.

  TOMI ADEYEMI is a Girls Write Now honoree and the author of the New York Times–bestselling book Children of Blood and Bone.

  Ctrl + B

  THE GIRLS WRITE NOW 2019 ANTHOLOGY

  If there was one thing I did not feel a few years ago as I walked into the Girls Write Now offices to meet my mentee for the first time, it was a sense of control. I searched for my name tag on the table, feeling nervous, my mind churning around the same thoughts I’d had all week: What if my mentee doesn’t like me? What if we have nothing to talk about? What if I can’t help her?

  But that first day ended up working out well. My mentee, Zoe, was a little shy around people she didn’t know, just like me, and we recognized this about each other instantly. We were even able to laugh about it. Who would have thought that something like shyness could actually be a glue? Ironically, it’s when we feel the least in control—the least knowing, and the most fearful about taking a leap into the unfamiliar—that we begin to approach the essence of control.

  It strikes me now that the feelings of giddy unknowing I had that first day bear an uncanny resemblance to what happens when we first sit down in front of a blank page. Writing is an act of shutting out the skeptical voice
s, voices that ask, What if nobody likes it? What if I don’t even like it? What if I have nothing new or true to say? This is the first step toward artistic authority.

  That is exactly what Zoe and I did in our work together. We committed ourselves to meeting every week (in the public space on the second floor of the Time Warner Center) to read and talk about Zoe’s poems, essays, and journal entries. As soon as we got into a rhythm, the thing that struck me about Zoe was that she could crank it out. She just wrote. She didn’t worry too much about how it turned out or what I would think. She dove in fearlessly.

  For twenty-one years, through weekly pair sessions, community genre-based workshops, the CHAPTERS Reading Series, and countless other initiatives, including the publication of this anthology, Girls Write Now has provided a support system and a framework that champions girls as they discover their singular, powerful voices.

  We use the Ctrl + B function on a keyboard to take ordinary letters and set them at a higher intensity—to indicate importance, to grab hold of, to distinguish. The mentees of Girls Write Now are given the liberty to be bold through collaboration, self-awareness, and self-expression. They sit down without knowing what is going to happen. Yet gradually, through the writing process—the weekly routine of meeting with their mentors and sweating it out on the page—the girls create boldly, with intent. Ctrl + B: The 2019 Girls Write Now Anthology is the culmination of a year of diligent self-examination and of documenting the way they experience the world. When our girls are able to express themselves, the most exciting changes begin.

  —CATHERINE GREENMAN, Anthology Committee Co-Chair

  Anthology Editorial Committee

  EDITOR

  Molly MacDermot

  ANTHOLOGY COMMITTEE CO-CHAIRS

  Rosalind Black

  Meg Cassidy

  Catherine Greenman

  Linda Kleinbub

  ANTHOLOGY EDITORIAL COMMITTEE

  Nan Bauer-Maglin

  Janie Cameron